“The Buddha Way is the ultimate marriage—great intimacy, no separation, diversity, compassion—in an ever-changing world.”
Sally Jinga Drummond
Painter
Germantown, NY
Married thrity-six years
“It’s been only positive in terms of practice. It feels great to be good friends with a Buddhist, my husband, and encouraging to wake up in the morning next to him.”
Carol Chikan Mudd
Costa Mesa, CA
Married sixteen years
“To be married is to be like two eggs intersecting. One part of each egg is independent; one part is together.”
Martine Batchelor
Coordinator of Sharpham College and writer
Devon, England
Married thirteen years
“Our marriage has become our practice. For us, the question now is, how can we clearn our karmic hindrances so that we don’t pass them on to our children?”
Mary Grace
Teacher
Seattle, WA
Married three years
“For many years the center of my life was my marriage and children, and that is total attachment. The trick is to watch that attachment.”
Dave Joko Haselwood
Landscape architect
Sonoma County, CA
Married thirty years
“As a family, we belong to a Unitarian church, which we attend regularly. In addition to that, I have my own practice, which my wife supports but does not participate in. In this way we achieve a balance between what we do together and what I do on my own.”
Richard Ryoha Dunworth
Social Worker
Ludlow, VT
Married fourteen years
“Marriage is part of life, defined in terms of harmony. If you are ethically prepared, then you are ready to marry.”
Aye Kyaw
Professor of Religion
Flushing, NY
Married thirty-five years
“Being a Zen monk has nothing to do with one’s marital status, but rather with an allegiance to a life of moment-to-moment practice. Why raise waves where there is no wind? Zen practice and marriage are for me both irreversible commitments.”
Richard Clarke
Director, Living Dharma Center
Amherst, MA
Married forty-one years
“When we say goodbye to each other in the morning as we leave for work, we really mean it. Our understanding of impermanence brings us closer to each other. BY being non-attached, we actually value our time together even more.”
Alice Jokai Ridgway
Manager, Department of Mental Retardation
Shelton, CT
Married five years
“We can study together, discuss topics, make prayers, and spend more time at our Buddhist center without worrying about who is waiting for us at home.”
Nancy Lakdawalla
Contract Manager
San Diego, CA
Married fourteen years
“Honesty and kindness, to both oneself and one’s partner. Lots of bodhicitta practice. Lots. And then more. Anything this good requires exertion and commitment, and the commitment is to a lot of letting go. Marriage is one of the best places to work with fear, whichever form of it gets to you.”
William K. McKeever
Director, Asian Activities, The Asia Society, NYC
Bronxville, NY
Married twenty years