Ideally, the year-end holiday season is a time for reflection, gathering indoors, and spending quality time with our loved ones. But it can be hard to ignore the relentless slew of holiday marketing, assuring us that the best way to convey our affection is to buy, buy, buy. In most Buddhist traditions, the winter solstice is not a time for presents wrapped in paper with big bows on top. While there are Buddhist cultures with gift-giving conventions—such as in Japanese etiquette—the practice of donating alms or offerings is much more widespread. But for those of us living in the West, ’tis the season for trading tokens of gratitude. So how can we give gifts in a Buddhist way?
An article in Tricycle’s Winter 2007 issue, “Gifts That Keep Giving” by Joan Duncan Oliver, provides an answer: give compassionately. Oliver suggests that we purchase gifts that are ethically sourced, environmentally conscious, and help someone in need—in other words, they relieve suffering instead of creating it.
One approach is to give to a charity in someone else’s name, and there are many excellent organizations to choose from (see below). But for those times when we’re expected to hand out gifts (at the annual office Secret Santa, for instance), here is a selection of ways to give in the Buddhist spirit.
Buy Nothing and Give More
Do you have any household items collecting dust in a closet that could better serve someone else? Or, do you find yourself in need of something last minute, say an extra dining chair for guests or some mushy bananas for banana bread? Consider joining a Buy Nothing community, an international network of local gifting groups that offers people a way to give and receive, share, lend, and express gratitude for their neighbors. With over four million members and nearly seven thousand regional Buy Nothing communities, the project has attracted many due to its simple but effective rule: everything must be given freely. This holiday season, the project encourages people to give and ask from others in their local communities instead of buying gifts. You can find your local Buy Nothing group on the new BuyNothing app or through the project’s list of Facebook groups. And you can read more about Buy Nothing here, in the Summer 2022 issue of Tricycle magazine.
For a variety of ethical shopping needs, visit the online store Ten Thousand Villages, which as its name implies, offers ethically sourced crafts from developing countries around the world. The Pennsylvania-based nonprofit’s mission is to provide their artisans with fair, living wages and safe work conditions as well as to promote energy-efficient practices and the use of local and recycled materials. The organization, one of the oldest and largest fair-trade groups, started in 1946 and was based on the Mennonite principles of its founder, Edna Ruth Byler, but its shop includes several goods from Buddhist traditions. Check out its selection of singing bowls from Nepalese artists or pick up a patchwork meditation cushion made by female artisans in Vietnam. Or for non-Buddhist recipients, browse their selection of jewelry, home goods, and other handicrafts.
The Tibetan Nuns Project (TNP) is a more Buddhist-oriented alternative for handmade crafts. Known for their Sponsor a Nun program, TNP was created to help refugee nuns coming to India from Tibet, but it has expanded to “provide food, shelter, education, and health care to over 700 nuns of all traditions,” the group says. Their online shop supports these efforts by selling bags, malas, prayer flags, and other crafts that are made and blessed by nuns. You can also purchase pujas [prayers and rituals], which can be dedicate to a loved one.
Words to the Wise
For book lovers, there are a lot of options to choose from. Three of the largest publishers of Buddhist literature, Wisdom Publications, Shambhala Publications, and Sounds True, all boast environmental initiatives, and Wisdom’s Books for Prisoners programs and Sounds True’s Prison Library Project make Buddhist resources available to incarcerated populations. Need a book suggestion? Check out what we’re reading and our list of recommended Buddhist books for beginners.
Here are three new books to get you started:
- New edition of Call Me By My True Names: The Collected Poems of Thich Nhat Hanh by Thich Nhat Hanh. First published in 1993 and reissued this year with a foreword by Buddhist poet Ocean Vuong, Call Me By My True Names is a collection of over a hundred poems by the late Vietnamese Zen master.
- Let Your Light Shine: How Mindfulness Can Empower Children and Rebuild Communities by Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez. In this book, Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez of the Holistic Life Foundation share how mindfulness tools can help at-risk children and communities not only survive but thrive. They also teach the Tricycle online course Mindfulness for Kids and Parents to help families be happy and calm.
- The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté. Author and physician Gabor Maté helps readers understand personal suffering—both physical and emotional—and the roots and impacts of trauma. By drawing connections between the mind, body, and environment, Maté shows a pathway to healing by treating the whole being.
If you’re looking for a book with a younger reader in mind, here is a selection of Buddhist children’s books to consider:
- The Secret of the Sand Castles by Demi
- Lumi: Adventures in Kindness by Molly Coxe
- Buddhist Stories for Kids: Jataka Tales of Kindness, Friendship, and Forgiveness by Laura Burges
- The Hero of Compassion: How Lokeshvara Got One Thousand Arms by Harry Einhorn
- Sophie Learns to Be Brave by Joan Halifax
- The Monster Parade by Wendy O’Leary
Presents for Presence
One way to support the dharma with your gifts is to buy from shops that help fund meditation centers. Right livelihood is the guiding principle of the Monastery Store. The shop, which sells supplies for Buddhist practice, is staffed by residents and volunteers at the upstate New York-based Zen Mountain Monastery, where they are trained in “work practice” or “sacred labor” as part of the Mountains and Rivers Order founded by the late American Zen teacher John Daido Loori. The store also puts an emphasis on responsible environmental practices. Try the buckwheat zafu, or meditation seat, and their plush “bodhi seat” zabuton, which one former editor praised for helping him overcome the tendency for his left leg to fall asleep while sitting. They also have a wonderful selection of low-smoke incense for those who want to maintain an altar with a sensitive nose. But for gifts outside of the Zen tradition, shoppers will need to look elsewhere.
The Namse Bangdzo bookstore at the Karma Triyana Dharmachakra (KTD) in Woodstock, New York, also carries shrine and practice supplies, including meditation cushions, malas, and incense, as well as items that are specific to Tibetan Buddhism and might be harder to find, such as a bumpa ritual vase or a kapala, or skullcup, used in some Vajrayana practices.
Tea and Sympathy
Tea has been a symbol of enlightenment ever since 9th-century Zen master Joshu told his students, “Go drink tea!” But while there are a wide variety of fair-trade tea sellers to choose from, including some of the bigger distributors, many tea farmers around the world continue to be exploited and abused. A 2015 BBC report uncovered widespread abuses by British tea companies in India, although those companies claimed to have improved conditions. The group Ethical Consumer, which ranks UK-based tea suppliers, recommends that in addition to looking for fair trade and organic certification, buyers pick single-source teas over blends, which are harder to trace, and opt for loose tea over bags, which are rarely made from sustainable materials.
Mellow Monk only sells single estate tea from Japan’s Kumamoto region and places extra emphasis on being eco-friendly. Through the micro-lending site Kiva, they also support small farms in the area. For a broader range of tea options, the Oregon-based Strand Tea Company promises sustainable fair-trade practices and also donates proceeds to charities, including tiger conservation efforts in Tamil Nadu, India, and its local chapter of the League of Women’s Voters.
For some recipe ideas, you can check out Zen teacher Bo-Mi Choi’s guide to Korean tea remedies.
When wrapping your gift, consider alternatives to wasteful paper and scotch tape. One alternative is the Japanese method of wrapping gifts in reusable cloths called furoshiki (which literally translates to “bathmat” from its origins as a way to wrap up items at bathhouses). You can spend hours looking up different ways to tie the colorful wraps, which become part of the gift itself. If crafts aren’t your thing, reusable gift or tote bags are another great option.
Or you can wrap your gift in a scarf, adding another seasonable gift. You can purchase Tibetan yak-yarn scarves from the mYak for Social Good collection, which donates its proceeds to a mobile library project on the Tibetan Plateau that brings books to children in 50 villages.
Perhaps your loved ones have given up their attachment to material things—or have a hard enough time finding room for the stuff they already have—but you still want to let them know you are thinking of them. Donating to a charity in their name can be the perfect gift, and some people might even request it. While there are many worthy charities, here is a selection of some notable initiatives:
- The Buddhist Tzu Chi Charity Foundation provides humanitarian aid to vulnerable individuals, families, and communities. Since February 2022, Tzu Chi has provided aid to Ukrainian refugees in Poland fleeing the war.
- The Jamyang Foundation aids nuns in the most remote parts of the Himalayas.
- Nangchen Nuns helps Tsoknyi lineage nuns in Eastern Tibet.
- Ayya Yeshe’s Bodhicitta Foundation provides job training and education to women and children in India.
- Live to Love empowers the people of the Himalayas through initiatives in gender equality, education, animal care, and disaster relief.
- Lotus Outreach supports young girls in India and Cambodia.
- The Lineage Project teaches mindful movement, meditation, breathwork, and conscious conversations to vulnerable young people in New York City. You can read an interview with the group’s executive director here.
- Pete’s Place is an interfaith homeless shelter in Sante Fe, New Mexico. You can find out about their work in this essay by a volunteer from Upaya Zen Center.
- Buddhist Global Relief, founded by Buddhist teacher and translator Bhikku Bodhi, seeks to combat chronic hunger and malnutrition worldwide through direct food relief, education initiatives, and promoting sustainable food production.
- Each year, The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund supports nine organizations that provide help for those in need.
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This article was adapted from Tricycle’s 2018 gift guide.