What is the subject of your dharma talk with Tricycle? In my talk I explore connections between Buddhist teachings on wise effort and the idea of the window of tolerance developed by Dan Siegel. The “window of tolerance” refers to a way of relating to the world where we feel grounded and able to cope with what life throws at us. I’m fascinated by what happens when we’re triggered by something that pulls us out of this window. Sometimes, we find ourselves overwhelmed by strong emotion. At other times, we may be numb and low in energy. This might happen when we’re watching the news. We may see something that pulls us into strong feelings of anger or anxiety. At other times, we may be left numb and despairing.
I’ve been struck by how the classical idea of “wise effort” can help us to rediscover our window of tolerance when we need to do so. I see this as a practice we can explore in formal meditation and in our whole lives. For instance, after seeing something distressing on the news, we may find our ground again through awareness of the body or talking to a good friend. These wise efforts can help us find a way back to the window of tolerance that can lead to more effective ways to respond to injustice and suffering.
What drew you to Buddhist study and practice? I started to practice meditation in 1995 while studying philosophy at university. My body felt quite tense after studying a lot, and I had an intuition that yoga might help. I loved the Savasana [corpse pose] practice at the end of the yoga class and how different it made me feel. This led me to meditation, and I found it extraordinary how powerful the practice seemed to be, while, in some sense, I was “doing nothing.” In the following year I spent a few months in India exploring Vipassana and Tibetan Buddhism and continued my discoveries from there.
What is your favorite non-Buddhist book? At the moment, I’m thoroughly enjoying Dan Buettner’s work on the blue zones, areas where an unusual number of people live to be 100 years old. The book, rather than simply being about the quantity of life, opens up good ways to explore the quality of our lives. I like the way it can support our reflections on wise and sustainable lifestyles that naturally include physical activity, good nutrition, connection with the natural world, and meaning.
How do you deal with feelings of doubt or uncertainty in your practice? Sometimes, I think of people who have inspired me. I love the book on joy by Archbishop Tutu and H.H. the Dalai Lama. It’s beautiful to remember that it’s possible to live through situations of suffering and injustice and retain a joyful, loving heart.
Can you describe a time when you received help from someone and what that experience taught you? When I was having a tough time as a teenager, my step-mum, Anna, was a wonderful support. There were times that I thought things wouldn’t get better, but she was able to hold my distress and represent a hope that things could be different. Sometimes, other people can hold our pain in a way that helps us remember and rediscover our own resources.
What is the most common question new students ask you? They ask, “How do I get rid of my difficult thoughts?”
In your mindfulness training, what is the key to mentoring others to be teachers? I think that one of the keys is to keep connected with good friends and colleagues, as it’s hard to maintain perspective and inspiration when isolated from others. Friends can be a great support with the feelings of doubt and inflation that can arise in the teaching role. I’d also encourage trainee teachers to listen to a range of talks and to read widely. There are so many different styles and approaches, and a deep knowledge of these can help us from becoming rigid in our teaching.
In November, watch Jake Dartington’s Dharma Talk at tricycle.org/dharmatalks.
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