We have to understand that whatever we have will be lost. The end of the wealth is poverty. The end of fame is obscurity. The end of life is death. That is the nature of samsara. Appreciation will help you not to be miserable about loss.

Stop looking at each other’s faults. Start to appreciate each other’s qualities. Life is short. Even if you live one hundred years, how long will you live with all your faculties intact? The period we have to appreciate each other is quite limited. When the person goes, you can appreciate the quality of life that you had together, instead of regretting that you wasted time, that you could have done better. That will give you comfort. It will help you to overcome loss and sadness.

You know that change has to take place. It is a natural process. You remember the person and you wish they were here. That doesn’t go away. But if you understand it correctly, as part of a natural process, it will not traumatize you.

Compiled from an interview with Gehlek Rimpoche by Mark Magill, published in Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, Fall 2003, vol. 13, no. 1.

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