1. If I have open-head surgery and my brains are replaced by my alarm clock, am I still Tommy?

Illustrations by Michael Hurson
Illustrations by Michael Hurson

2. Was van Gogh with one ear the same as van Gogh with two ears?

3. If I take a vacation, will I still be Tommy?

4. If I take Prozac, will I still be Tommy?

5. If I get a face-lift, an ass nip, hair coloring, breast implants, and liposuction, will I be Jane Fonda?

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