In the Brahmajala Sutta, the Buddha teaches his monks: “If others speak in dispraise of me, or the dharma, or the sangha, you should not give way to resentment, displeasure, or animosity. And if others speak in praise, you should not give way to jubilation, joy, and exultation.” Your own anger or joy, he continues, will only create obstacles for you. The point is not what someone thinks of me or my teaching but whether their statements are true or false and whether they accord with the facts—namely, the facts of suffering and its cessation, nirvana.
The third of the four pairs that make up the eight worldly winds is praise and blame, and here the Buddha points out how these two winds compound our ignorance (avidya). Caught up in someone else’s view and our feelings about that view, we lose track of what’s most important—our own freedom. Praise and blame are like a siren song: They lure us close, whipping up feelings of joy or doubt or indignation, only to smash us on the rocks of self-conceit. To counteract these winds, the Buddha offers a simple antidote. When someone heaps on us either praise or criticism, we can stay focused and ask ourselves, Is this true? Is it based on fact? Will it lead to liberation? The last question, especially, cuts through the roar and pull of the winds, keeping our direction true and our sailing steady.
“We all want—perhaps we need—the appreciation of others, especially if we are trying to keep going in a difficult undertaking, such as practicing Buddhism. . . . But as every flatterer knows, the listener’s need for affirmation can override their awareness of the truth, leaving them prey to forces that cause suffering.”
–Vishvapani
Tip: It’s helpful to reflect that chasing praise and bemoaning criticism is like handing over our power to others, letting them determine how we should feel about ourselves. While it’s natural to care about others’ opinions, we don’t have to give undue weight to views that are constantly changing anyway. As Milarepa once said, “Trying to make others happy is endless.”
“When people praise us and we glow with delight, it is because we think that being praised is beneficial. But that is like thinking that there is some substance to a rainbow or a dream. . . . When somebody says something unpleasant or hurtful to us, we need to learn to be patient and forbearing and remind ourselves that their words are just like the sounds of an echo, equally insubstantial and unreal.”
Tip: If we’re able to hold both our sense of self and another’s views lightly, then we can learn from the feedback others give us. Ultimately, views are empty and self is empty of a fixed, independent nature. But conventionally, another’s reflections of our actions can show us the places where we still need work, and this is indeed a great gift.
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Editor’s note: This is the third installment of our series on the eight worldly winds: gain and loss, fame and disrepute, praise and blame, and happiness and suffering. A printable version is available here.
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