Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone

The Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone is called the Bhaddekaratta Sutta in Pali. It is number 131 in the Majjhima Nikaya. This important sutra is one of the oldest written teachings on how to live in the present moment.

“Knowing how to live alone” doesn’t mean you have to live in solitude in a cave, separated from other people. If we sit alone in a cave, lost in our thinking, we aren’t really living alone. “Living alone” means living to have sovereignty over ourselves, to have the freedom that comes from not being dragged away by the past, not living in fear of the future, and not being pulled around by strong emotions caused by the circumstances of the present. When we are master of ourselves, we can grasp the situation as it is, and we’re in the best position to handle whatever may arise. When we dwell in mindfulness day and night, then we are truly practicing “the better way to live alone.” This is true whether we are surrounded by friends and family, or when we are living a solitary life.

If a doctor tells you, “You have cancer and probably only have six months to live,” you will likely feel completely overwhelmed. The fear, the idea that “I’m going to die in six months,” can take away your peace and joy. Before the doctor told you about the cancer you could sit and enjoy your tea, eat your meal, or watch the moon, while now your fear takes away all your joy and freedom.

But the doctor’s words can be a bell of mindfulness. We all have six months left to live, or seven months, or ten years. If we can know and accept that death is something that comes to everybody, we will not suffer so much. The doctor who tells us we have six months left to live will also die. Maybe the doctor will die before us. We may be lucky to have six months to live. If we look deeply, we see things that we can’t otherwise see. We can get back our freedom from fear and, with that freedom and nonfear, we may live those six months happily.

We are all equal as far as life and death are concerned. Everyone has to die. But before we die, can we live properly? If we live properly, the quality of our last six months can be higher than if we were to live six or sixty more years. If we’re caught in the fetters of suffering, our life doesn’t have the same meaning it would if we lived in freedom. Knowing that we have to die, we can become determined to live our lives properly and deeply. If we’re not able to live with peace, joy, and freedom, then we live as if we’re already dead.

In the Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone, the Buddha teaches that we must struggle to get back our freedom, to be able to live the moments of our daily life deeply. If in the moments of our daily life we can have peace and joy, then we can heal the suffering we have in our bodies and our minds. Living deeply in each moment of our life we can be in touch with the wonderful things of life; we can nourish our body and mind with these wonderful elements, and we can embrace and transform our suffering. To live each day of our life deeply is to live a life of wonder, nourishment, and healing. Living like this we can revive our freedom, experience life deeply, give rise to the truth, and have awakened understanding. Our fears, anxieties, sufferings, and sadness will evaporate, and we will become a source of joy and life for ourselves and those around us.

To live each day of our life deeply is to live a life of wonder, nourishment, and healing. Living like this we can revive our freedom, experience life deeply, give rise to the truth, and have awakened understanding.

There are people who can’t see the happiness of the present and think that life was more beautiful in the past. Many of us are caught in this way of thinking. The past is no longer there, but we compare it with the present. Even when we were living those moments in the past we didn’t really value them at the time, because in the past we also weren’t able to live in the present moment.

There are other people who pursue the past because the past made them suffer. We have all suffered in the past, and those heavy wounds are calling us back: “Come back to the past. You cannot escape me.” We can become like sheep running back to the past for it to enclose and imprison us, and make us suffer.

Sometimes when we’re sitting with a friend, we can feel abandoned by that friend, because our friend is drowning in the past. They are sitting next to us, but they’re not really there. Suppose we find a way to free our friend from the past. We might ask them what they are thinking, or touch them gently in some way to remind them of the present moment. Then our friend may wake up and smile, and be free from the prison of the past.

Sometimes we don’t want to go back into the past, but the past grabs hold of us and pulls us back. We have to look directly into the past, smile at it and say, “You can no longer oppress me. I am free of you.” The past is just a ghost. We know that the past is a ghost, but we allow the ghost to imprison us.

Some of us run to pursue the future. But the future is another ghost. Why are we afraid of the future? Fear comes from our worry that this or that will or won’t happen tomorrow. But the future is something that is not yet here. The future is never here. Once it’s here, it’s the present.

When we live with a ghost we’re not living alone, we’re living with another. We eat a meal, but we have the ghost sitting alongside us. When we see a friend sitting with a ghost we can say, “Who are you sitting with?” and perhaps that person will wake up. It’s not just the ghosts of the past and the future that like to sit with us. In the present we have infatuations, attachments, feelings of sadness, and projects that take us away from the joy of the present moment. When we live with these things, we are not living alone; we are living with ghosts.

The ghosts of the past and the future take away a lot of freedom. They follow us and condition our life, and order us about. But if we know how to deal with them, we will never fall under their influence. We only have to smile at them. We only need to breathe and come back to our awareness of the present moment and say, “Oh, I know you are a ghost.”

According to the teachings of interbeing, the past makes the present, and the present makes the future. Being in touch with the present, we are already in touch with the past and the future.

Being aware in the present moment does not preclude our thinking about the past or the future. But we must still dwell in the present moment whenever we look deeply into the past or the future, so that we can be aware of any fear or sadness without being overwhelmed by it. According to the teachings of interbeing, the past makes the present, and the present makes the future. Being in touch with the present, we are already in touch with the past and the future.

We’re caught by the ghosts of the past and the future because we don’t know they’re ghosts. We think the past is still right here with us, and we dwell in it. But if we can smile to the ghost of the past, and acknowledge that the past was there, but that now it is gone, then we can have the smile of enlightenment. When we smile like that, it shows we have love for ourselves. We know the past and the future are not our enemies. We know how to live in this moment we are in right now. We need to live our daily moments deeply, as they occur. When we live and know that we are living, this is freedom.

The Elder Sutra

I heard these words of the Buddha one time when the Lord was staying at the monastery in the Jeta Grove, in the town of Shravasti. At that time there was a monk named Thera (Elder), who always preferred to be alone. Whenever he could, he praised the practice of living alone. He sought alms alone and sat in meditation alone.

One time a group of bhikshus came to the Lord. They paid their respect by prostrating at his feet, stepped to one side, sat down at a distance, and said, “Blessed One, there is an elder by the name of Thera who only wants to be alone. He always praises the practice of living alone. He goes into the village alone to seek alms, returns home from the village alone, and sits in meditation alone.”

The Lord Buddha told one of the bhikshus, “Please go to the place where the monk Thera lives and tell him I wish to see him.”

The bhikshu obeyed. When the monk Thera heard the Buddha’s wish he came without delay, prostrated at the feet of the Buddha, stepped to one side, and sat down at a distance. Then the Blessed One asked the monk Thera, “Is it true that you prefer to be alone, praise the life of solitude, go for alms alone, come back from the village alone, and sit in meditation alone?”

The monk Thera replied, “It is true, Blessed One.” Buddha asked the monk Thera, “How do you live alone?”

The monk Thera replied, “I live alone; no one else lives with me. I praise the practice of being alone. I go for alms alone, and I come back from the village alone. I sit in meditation alone. That is all.”

The Buddha taught the monk as follows. “It is obvious that you like the practice of living alone. I do not want to deny that, but I want to tell you that there is a more wonderful and profound way to be alone. It is the way of deep observation to see that the past no longer exists and the future has not yet come, and to dwell at ease in the present moment, free from desire. When a person lives in this way, they have no hesitation in their heart. They give up all anxieties and regrets, let go of all binding desires, and cut the fetters which prevent them from being free. This is called ‘the better way to live alone.’ There is no more wonderful way of being alone than this.”

Then the Blessed One recited this gatha:

Observing life deeply,
it is possible to see clearly all that is.
Not enslaved by anything,
it is possible to put aside all craving,
Resulting in a life of peace and joy.
This is truly to live alone.

Hearing the Lord’s words, the monk Thera was delighted. He prostrated respectfully to the Buddha and departed.

The Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone

I heard these words of the Buddha one time when the Lord was staying at the monastery in the Jeta Grove, in the town of Shravasti. He called all the monks to him and instructed them, “Bhikkhus!”

And the bhikkhus replied, “We are here.”

The Blessed One taught, “I will teach you what is meant by ‘knowing the better way to live alone.’ I will begin with an outline of the teaching, and then I will give a detailed explanation. Bhikkhus, please listen carefully.”

“Blessed One, we are listening.”

The Buddha taught:

Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is
in the very here and now,
the practitioner dwells
in stability and freedom.
We must be diligent today.
To wait till tomorrow is too late.
Death comes unexpectedly.
How can we bargain with it?
The sage calls a person who
dwells in mindfulness
night and day
“the one who knows
the better way to live alone.”

“Bhikkhus, what do we mean by ‘pursuing the past’? When someone considers the way their body was in the past, the way their feelings were in the past, the way their perceptions were in the past, the way their mental formations were in the past, the way their consciousness was in the past; when they consider these things and their mind is burdened by and attached to these things which belong to the past, then that person is pursuing the past.

“Bhikkhus, what is meant by ‘not pursuing the past’? When someone considers the way their body was in the past, the way their feelings were in the past, the way their perceptions were in the past, the way their mental formations were in the past, the way their consciousness was in the past; when they consider these things but their mind is neither enslaved by nor attached to these things which belong to the past, then that person is not pursuing the past.

“Bhikkhus, what is meant by ‘losing yourself in the future’? When someone considers the way their body will be in the future, the way their feelings will be in the future, the way their perceptions will be in the future, the way their mental formations will be in the future, the way their consciousness will be in the future; when they consider these things and their mind is burdened by and daydreaming about these things which belong to the future, then that person is losing themselves in the future.

“Bhikkhus, what is meant by ‘not losing yourself in the future’? When someone considers the way their body will be in the future, the way their feelings will be in the future, the way their perceptions will be in the future, the way their mental formations will be in the future, the way their consciousness will be in the future; when they consider these things but their mind is not burdened by or daydreaming about these things which belong to the future, then they are not losing themselves in the future.

“Bhikkhus, what is meant by being swept away by the present’? When someone does not study or learn anything about the Awakened one, or the teachings of love and understanding, or the community that lives in harmony and awareness, when that person knows nothing about the noble teachers and their teachings, does not practice these teachings, and thinks, “This body is myself, I am this body; these feelings are myself, I am these feelings; this perception is myself, I am this perception; this mental formation is myself, I am this mental formation; this consciousness is myself, I am this consciousness,’ then that person is being swept away by the present.

“Bhikkhus, what is meant by ‘not being swept away by the present’? When someone studies and learns about the awakened one, the teachings of love and understanding, and the community that lives in harmony and awareness, when that person knows about noble teachers and their teachings, practices these teachings, and does not think, ‘This body is myself, I am this body; these feelings are myself, I am these feelings; this perception is myself, I am this perception; this mental formation is myself, I am this mental formation; this consciousness is myself, I am this consciousness,’ then that person is not being swept away by the present.

“Bhikkhus, I have presented the outline and the detailed explanation of knowing the better way to live alone.”

Thus the Buddha taught, and the bhikkhus were delighted to put his teachings into practice.

♦

Excerpted from Our Appointment with Life: Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone by Thich Nhat Hanh, 2026, with permission from Parallax Press, www.parallax.org.